I didn’t have time to shop on Black Friday, so I decided to order online from Kohl’s and pick my items up at the store. I chose bathroom towels and rugs that I knew were different shades of blue, but on the website, it looked like they’d match closely enough.
I was wrong. When I installed them all in the bathroom and walked in, the effect was jarring. The hand towel blended OK with the rugs, but the bath towels were a shade that didn’t play well with the others.
I had that same uncomfortable feeling the next several times I walked into the bathroom. Eventually, though, it softened. The mismatched blues didn’t startle me anymore. They started to look right. I stopped seeing their distinct differences and just thought of them as, well, all blue.
That’s kind of how psychosis can creep into your thinking. At first, you recognize the delusional thoughts for what they are: not based in reality. But they keep coming more frequently, and they start to feel true. Yes, you think. I didn’t see these connections, this new truth, before. Eventually, the psychosis becomes your new reality. The thoughts, like the towels, make sense.
If you’ve never experienced this, you might think it couldn’t happen to you, that you would continue to recognize the delusional thinking as psychosis. You’d either seek professional help or be incredibly uncomfortable all the time, afraid of your own brain.
But you can’t fight brain chemistry.